Today was such an odd day for many reasons. Our work schedules were wonky, the weather was wonky, we got wonky stuff in the mail…just a wonky day!
But by far the oddest thing to happen occurred during my wait for the 71A home from campus.
I must preface this story by informing you that I am not hip. My wardrobe is PARTICULARLY unhip. Most of the time, I wear either rugby shorts or jeans with either a t-shirt or long-sleeved t-shirt. These t-shirts generally feature logos from various rugby teams.
So when I’m pregnant, my wardrobe gets exponentially more hip, because they don’t make ratty maternity clothes and I’m forced to dress like a real adult human, especially on days I work. Today, I was wearing cropped pants, a long tank-top, and a maternity t-shirt. Nothing special.
There I was waiting for the bus, minding my business (which means giving the stink-eye to people smoking near me at the bus stop), when an undergraduate said, “Oh my gosh! I love your pants! Where did you get them?”
I thought she was fucking with me to be mean. This reaction is probably due to the time nobody told me my maternity dress was tucked in my backpack and I walked several blocks along 5th ave with my ass hanging out. So anyway, I didn’t answer her right away.
She persisted. “Are they from around here?”
I told her they were maternity pants. From Motherhood Maternity 3 years ago, on clearance. (I know about the clearance part because they still had the tag on, as I discovered during one of my bathroom trips today. Whoops!)
Her face grew wide and she gasped. “You mean they make special PANTS for PREGNANT WOMEN???”
Just then, my bus pulled up. I was so taken aback I couldn’t begin to explain it all to her, so I just showed her the waist as it rose up above my belly and said, “Yep. No buttons or zippers for me!” And vanished into the setting sun…or something like that.