Some things that amaze me about my son this week:

he’s fascinated by this weird, Australian cooking show and watches it on YouTube whenever I give him my phone.

he’s really starting to “get” putting pee-pee in the potty. Pee-pee only.

he remembers things that happened months ago, randomly telling me, “Mommy? Dave and Jamie came over to eat pizza” or “Butter pulled Mizel on Trunki.”

he can put on most of his shoes.

his energy to run is bottomless. 

he can convince his parents to wear animal masks and dance around the house while he sits back to laugh at us.

he thinks his brother will exit my body via my belly-button.

he loves eating grape tomatoes.

he sleeps with junk mail in his hands, wearing blue bracelets from Creative Reuse.

he both sings and talks himself through tasks in just the same way I do–without even realizing he’s doing it until I call him out on it.

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Posted by on February 5th, 2012 No Comments

Project Food Budget: Week 19

I’ve had poor sleep this week, so I only have the concentration to write briefly. We spent $121, which included an $8 Chinese food lunch for Corey and a $3 cocoa date for me & Miles. So, for January, we spent $660. So much for budgeting and spending less money overall…

I totally stuck to our menu plan this week, despite a sick toddler and family visit to Med Express. Hurray! I knew I’d have a rough work load, so planned to make quick, simple meals I knew we’d consume in their entirety. One of those meals was a batch of mushroom millet soup (half of which was for a mom with a new baby). I was dismayed to discover the salt content of my homemade bouillon magnified overnight. By the second day, the soup was so salty I couldn’t bear to eat it.

Or maybe it was a pregnancy aversion? Anyway, there’s a lot of that left in the fridge. Once I verbalize that I don’t think something tastes good, Corey becomes less inclined to eat it and take it for lunch, so I will either have to compost it or try to pawn it off on another family when I take Miles on a play date this afternoon. Any takers? Salty soup!

If I freeze it, will it be less salty upon defrost, I wonder?

On a relatively related note, a tweet from This Girl reminded me of the impending Fish Fry season. I’ve been obsessed ever since. I’m not Catholic, but gosh do I love my neighbors! Last year, because of work and rugby and whatnot, we missed every Friday Fish Fry in my ‘hood and all the built-in hanging out. I wasted no time in reminding my neighbors that we’re 3 weeks out from the first fry at St. Raph’s, and we’ve already got a party planned. The church doesn’t say it’s NOT bring your own beer…not that I can drink much.

So starting in a few weeks, our eating out budget will be higher because we’ll be eating fried fish on Fridays. I. CAN’T WAIT.

What’s everyone else been up to, budget-wise, this week?

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Posted by on February 3rd, 2012 2 Comments

Wherein I Discuss Wiping

My belly is so big now that I can’t wipe myself very well when I use the bathroom. I’d forgotten about this problem. At home, I’ve been using the Pittsburgh Potty, because that’s where we have the diaper sprayer set up and I can just use that without worrying (the 48 rolls of toilet paper from installment 1 will last a looooonnnngggg time if this keeps up).

But what am I going to do at work? When visiting friends without diaper sprayers? Some friends have suggested keeping a squirt bottle in my bag. The whole problem makes me remember all of the times I’ve been a bridesmaid, and I’ve inevitably wound up as the person wiping the bride’s nether regions as her frothy skirt impeded quick peeing.

I need an intern or a bridesmaid. Since I made a special point to pick a wedding dress that didn’t inhibit my bathroom use, maybe I can call on my bridesmaids a few years after the fact? Hey girls! I need you! Just until May!

Alternately, I suppose I could ask Miles to wipe me when I’m with him. Could be a good test of whether I’ve taught him anything at all in the past 31 months of wiping his ass.

All kidding aside, now, do pregnant ladies start wiping from the back? Do I just need to be bending and twisting differently? How is this supposed to work?

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Posted by on February 1st, 2012 3 Comments

Picking Preschool

For the past few months, I’ve been engaged in a stressful hunt for a preschool for Miles starting in the fall. He’ll be 3 in July and, more important, I’ll have a newborn baby to parent. I’m not looking for a place where Miles will learn to read or hone his Latin skills (he can basically read anyway and all I had to do was provide him some books and an example of parents who read a lot).

I’m looking for a place where, for a few hours a few days per week, Miles can get a lot of attention from someone with more energy than me. And some social interaction, of course, plus a sense of rhythm, routine, and an idea that there are different norms of behavior in different places. Mostly, I just need a place that can help to redirect his boundless energy.

I learned, with less than a week’s notice, of the deadline for application to the Pittsburgh Public Montessori school in December. That was an obvious choice for us, because the program is free, the application is free, and Montessori-style education is very attractive to us. But rumor had it there were only 6 available openings in the 3-year-old program, slots filled via lottery. Chances were not high that we’d get in.

So I had to find a bunch of other places to go visit. Of course, the Internet is useless. Preschools, as a rule, don’t seem to post their tuition rates. They like to discuss such things in person, which is maddening to me because my available time to talk on the phone without interruption is sooooooo limited, let alone my availability to drive to and visit a preschool sans toddler in tow. If a place is thousands of dollars out of my price range, I’d like to know before I call to schedule a visit.

But anyway, I found 5 places that seemed nice based on friends’ recommendations, presumed price range, lack of religious curriculum, and proximity to my house. Five places! That was a lot of visits to schedule. I was getting rashy just thinking about it, because applications everywhere are due February 1.

One day, I even arranged for Miles to go to a friend’s house just so I could make phone calls to set up visits–I can’t guarantee that Miles will nap on a given day, and even television has lost its ability to hold his attention enough to talk to non-relatives.

I certainly did not imagine I would be the type of person who went through such rigamarole about preschool. I quickly discovered that living in an urban place means spots in secular educational programs fill up quickly. Parents HAVE to apply to multiple places, even if you’re not looking for a fancy or frou-frou school, because there’s a crazy matrix of wait lists and weighted lotteries. And the off chance an accepted child won’t be toilet independent in time for a school that requires such a thing.

So after all that research and scheduling, I received a text one day at work saying Miles has won a coveted lottery slot in the public Montessori program! Other friends of ours learned they were something like 45 on the wait-list. We got one of the 6 spaces. Where I initially faced a month of begging friends to watch Miles so I could visit schools and paying too much for applications, I now just need to convince Miles to pee in the potty. And poop in there.

Surely that’s easier, right?

Just in case we don’t make independence by fall, we kept one of our appointments at a brand new school in our neighborhood. So new it doesn’t have a name, the “farm school” basically involves kids running free in some fields of an urban farm. They sing songs about squirrels and talk about the deer poo they find on the paths. They climb logs, observe wild carrots, and play in the sand. When they do go inside, they do stuff like drop clothes pins in 5-gallon water jugs or look out the window at passing freight trains. It’s hard to imagine a preschool more suited for my kid.

Miles liked it there so much he pooped as soon as we walked inside. He doesn’t poop just anywhere (anymore)–it has to be a place he feels is familiar and comfortable. I view this as a strong endorsement.

Now, we need to decide. If we pass on our Montessori spot, we may never win another one and then we’ll have to find an elementary school AND a middle school (since Montessori goes through 8th grade). Plus, it’s hard to say no to something with no added cost. This is a nice place to be, mostly because I can stew on it from the comfort of my own home.

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Posted by on January 28th, 2012 7 Comments

My Day at Magee

I feel such relief after a great day at Magee Women’s Hospital yesterday. Despite having to drink the damn glu-cola, we had great visits with both the OB and the midwives.

I rather liked that Dr. K had a med student observing him yesterday, because it felt exciting for me to see a med student learning about natural childbirth, the advantages of midwifery care, and why VBAC can be an awesome choice for most women with a prior cesarean. The consult began with Dr. K putting hands on my belly, and he barely touched the baby before declaring head down, butt up, spine to the right. I was amazed that he could tell such a thing so quickly, because of course I put my hands on my belly all the time and have no idea what I’m squeezing. I was also glad the med student wasn’t invited to put her hands on my belly, because I wasn’t ready for that.

In his office, we all used first names (one of my favorite aspects of midwifery care I was glad carried over to their backup OB) and Dr. K and I tossed around acronyms while Corey and the med student looked a bit lost. That, of course, made me feel smug. I didn’t learn anything surprising in this visit, nor did Dr. K talk about anything I hadn’t researched extensively myself. At the same time, it was very validating for me to hear him confirm my research and feelings and tell me I’m an excellent VBAC candidate.

As Karen pointed out in the comments on my previous consult post, a 71% chance of VBAC success is a higher chance of vaginal birth than the national average, since our cesarean rate is about 33%. Any old woman ready to birth a baby has 67% success odds of vaginal birth in the US!

We talked a little bit about use of epidural and pitocin during VBAC labor, and Dr. K confirmed what I’d heard about what to expect when I am birthing at Magee: I’ll need a hep-lock in my arm just in case and I’ll have to have continuous external fetal monitoring rather than the (very) intermittent monitoring I enjoyed with Miles. So I knew all of that, and I was glad that he offered the fact that Magee has wireless monitors, “So you can walk and move about” while birthing.

Dr. K also seemed to support the midwives’ rather hands-off approach to this pregnancy, even telling me it would be ok for me to fly in late April for a few of the trips we’re weighing.

Since he measured my belly (right on target) and listened for the heart rate, we had the option of skipping our midwifery checkup, but since Corey hadn’t met the chief midwife and she was on duty that day, we talked with her anyway. She not only put her hands on my belly to feel the position, but guided my hands and fingers to the different body parts and helped me feel my baby’s bits. That was so magical! I loved it.

It feels so great to be supported on this journey.

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Posted by on January 27th, 2012 4 Comments

Project Food Budget: Week 17 (The Week I Go Insane on Amazon)

My son is currently making tunnels, caves, and railroad stations from cardboard boxes. Why? Because our house is filled with them. You see, I took the advice of a friend this week and went a little overboard on Amazon Subscribe and Save. I’m never going back. (I need to mention that I’m not being compensated by Amazon, by Costco, or by any of the other name brands I mention in this post)

My first purchase was the cereal I got a few weeks ago. Then, when that went smoothly, I decided to get: toilet paper, tomatoes, oats, dried apricots, many kinds of tea, Cliff bars. For many of these items, I signed up for delivery every 6 months (how quickly do you think I might consume four pounds of dried apricots?) and I found the prices to be less than the grocery store and at least equivalent to Costco (minus the $50 membership fee per year). For things like diapers, I was happy to learn I could get 7th Generation diapers for one penny more than the Kirkland brand disposable diapers, even though of course I’m working to cut back on disposable diaper consumption.

The subscribe and save is different from being a Prime or Mom member–not sure if those offer cheaper prices, but they sure do require paid membership. Since I’m able to cancel my “subscription” to these products at any time, it seems like it would be easy to scam the system, but why bother if you’re ordering food you like to eat? My sense of how it works is that I’ll get an email before they send my next shipment of the stuff. If it’s too soon, I can delay. Otherwise, they just bill my card and send the food to my house.

So, I certainly blew my January budget, but I also don’t have to haul heavy cans of tomatoes around while I’m also hauling a fetus and a toddler. And I’ll always have ingredients on hand to make granola. Corey even gave me a helpful shopping tip: when I’m in the grocery store and I think of a non-perishable item we like to eat regularly, I can scan it with my Amazon app on the smart phone and check whether it’s available for subscribe and save (or whether such a thing is a cheaper choice).

An example of this: The Tates cookies the baby made me buy are NOT cheaper via Amazon, though they are available. So I’m stuck getting those in the actual store. Oh, darn.

Otherwise, this was a good week of menu planning. Since last week was stressful and this week included a birthday AND a day full of baby appointments, I set out to plan simple meals I knew my family would eat. I bought a lot of fruit for my kiddo’s snacks, we had spaghetti with homemade red sauce (thanks, Amazon tomatoes!), fried rice, and we’ll be using the crock pot for some chicken tomorrow.

I am absolutely thrilled with our ability to consume all the perishables this week, too! I didn’t throw out any food at all and in fact, used a barely-expired tub of tofu to make Corey a chocolate pie for his birthday dessert. I used Ann Gentry’s chocolate pie recipe and we’ve been licking our dessert plates clean since Tuesday. I feel no shame in eating this pie when I need a caffeine jolt–it has no sugar (sweetened with maple syrup) or dairy (score for lactarded husband!) and ingredients I feel excited about.

So, all in all, a good week for food consumption and mindful purchasing. I might be learning to look at the big picture! The economist in my husband is thrilled. This week, I spent $125 at the grocery store and $133 on Amazon stuff, for a weekly total of $258. That brings me to $539 for the month with one week to go.

How did everyone else do?

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Posted by on January 26th, 2012 5 Comments

The VBAC Consult

Tomorrow is a very big day for me. I have a VBAC consultation with the obstetrician who backs up the Midwives at Magee. Everything I’ve heard through my work with ICAN and personal discussions with other women tells me this doctor is a wonderful champion for VBAC and does what he can to make sure women have a chance to try birthing.

This is really saying something for a surgeon who works in a tertiary hospital and takes on high-risk cases.

Nonetheless, I’m nervous about the appointment. I know he’ll run my BMI and other stats through the VBAC calculator. I’ve done the same thing. I know my statistical chances are in the 70% success range. But I’m type-A and that’s a C-. I don’t do C-. See how irrational I’m being? Consciously, I know that any number he tells me is still a greater chance of success than elective surgery. But I know I will feel discouraged hearing him offer a success percentage I consider low.

I’m also unable to take off my ICAN chapter co-leader hat during this pregnancy, which means I carry around the birth stories of every woman who seeks ICAN’s support in recovery. I’m trying to make a list of realistic questions I have about MY pregnancy and MY impending birth. It’s rough going.

The midwives asked me to have the consult prior to my appointment with them later that day, so I’ll be going in there knowing I at least have another appointment to process what we discuss with women with whom I’m familiar. Corey will also be coming along, so I’ll have the benefit of his realism to balance out my onslaught of questions.

My biggest and most nagging concern is fetal positioning and what we can do about it if my baby shifts mid-labor. Miles was posterior (thus, part of the trouble I had birthing him) and many of the women I know who had repeat cesareans after attempting (or hoping to attempt) VBAC experienced non-optimal fetal positioning.

I’m also going to ask either the OB or the midwives (or both) to put hands on my belly and check BL2.0′s position, since he was transverse at our 20 wk ultrasound and I’m curious to know whether he’s moved at all toward head-down.

If you don’t hear from me for awhile, assume I am deep within my Hypnobabies cds (more on these later), doing fear clearing and positive birthing affirmations!

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Posted by on January 25th, 2012 5 Comments

When My True Love is Ill on His Birthday

Months ago, I asked Miles what we should get Corey for his birthday. Miles, ever the sage, responded, “turkey jerky jerky and a map.” There really isn’t anything Corey would like more than those two items (just try prying a map of a transit system from his fingers sometime to see what I mean), so I stocked up on dehydrated meat and tried to think of a map to get him.

I was saved on the map front when his brother mailed us a map of the Canadian rail system–many joyful map-reading sessions ensued, in which Corey shared his fascination that there are trains traveling all the way up to the Yukon and Northwest Territories.

I often read or talk about people who buy amazing gifts for their partner for birthdays. I mentioned in my last post that I am pretty bad at birthdays…I know Corey wants an electric toothbrush, but damned if I remember to buy him one while I’m at Walgreens. So it makes me happy that his brother sent him a map that brought him such joy while Miles and I hid a gift bag stuffed with jerky to play “hot and cold” while Corey acted like he had no idea where his treats were hanging out.

I like to think we had a pretty nice celebration last night, between Miles singing and clapping and both of them digging into the gift bag.

But I was looking forward to date night tonight, on his actual birthday. We were going to get burgers and watch a movie. A movie that started at 7pm, mind you! The thrill of it all kept waking me up last night, so excited was I to just speak in complete sentences with my husband for a little while. And probably see Sherlock Holmes.

Miles got up today at 5:30 and we both learned that Core-man was too sick to get out of bed, let alone stay out for date night. My heart is kind of broken, selfishly. I’m not good at having empathy when he is sick (even though he’s been amazing if I’ve had vertigo or back pain this pregnancy), so I wasn’t even feeling benevolent enough to bring him cereal in bed. I just wanted to go on a damn date and eat peanut butter candy without risk that my kid would steal some and die of anaphylactic shock.

Sometimes, I am faced with the reality that I have the emotional maturity of a toddler.

We’re going to reschedule date night for later this week, and I’ve decided that I’m going to force myself to focus at work today so I can leave early enough to bake a tasty dessert for us. I might even carry it upstairs so we can all sing and eat chocolate in bed if Corey is still feeling unwell. Time to refocus and remember it’s HIS birthday, after all.

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Posted by on January 24th, 2012 No Comments

Woefully Inadequate

I am terrible at birthdays. I generally remember my husband’s, my mother’s, some of my sisters’, and my son’s birthdays. The rest are hit and miss. When I do remember a birthday, I remember it too late to possibly obtain/mail a card, let alone purchase a gift.

I feel awful about this. Especially because I love it when people make a big deal about my birthday! (Not that anyone I’m married to did anything particularly special to mark my 30th birthday…or had our son make me a birthday card…)

You see? See how I harbor this resentment about a slipped birthday and yet I’ve not purchased anything for my Cookie Pie, who turns 31 on Tuesday? I have a few ideas about gifts I’d like to get him, mainly based on conversations I had with Miles about what would make a good birthday gift for Daddy. Something tells me that between my excuse-making, the weather, and nap schedules, I won’t get out to the store in time.

I hate that I didn’t remember to mail my father-in-law a card for his birthday today, that all we did was sing and Skype. There are people in my life who are special, darn it! I want to show them how special they are by remembering to get them cards and gifts, even if the gifts are just something silly and small.

I didn’t make New Year’s Resolutions or affirmations or goals this year, but I want to throw it out there that I deeply, deeply hope to become better at birthday celebrating this year. I may never send a Christmas card and it’s possible I’ll forget birth announcements for BL2.0, but I want to become a person who mails out birthday cards! So let it be written. So let it be done.

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Posted by on January 20th, 2012 4 Comments

Project Food Budget: Week 16

I don’t have much to say this week–we were flying back and forth from New Jersey and all the other days I had meetings or various appointments until 9pm.

We were eating from the fridge/pantry (which resulted in a truly odd tofu/avocado/quinoa meal we choked down. I’m sure we benefitted from the health aspects of those foods…this week was definitely a “food is fuel” week. Miles and I did pop into Whole Foods en route somewhere else because we needed ingredients for a Helping Hands meal.

I’m involved in this fabulous community of other parents who do meal-making signups when a member has a new baby. Lots of folks have been having babies lately! So I’m making quiche and soup and using up the remainder of my free bread for a year gift certificate. Anyway, I mention it because it’s the only food spending we did this week.

I guess I’m excited we ate from the pantry without spending extra money! The quiche supplies cost $39 (I made several quiche and I happily pay extra for the pre-made crusts without animal lard). So that means for this month I’ve spent $90 + $152 + $39 = $281. I feel hopeful I can come in under $500 for the month. (Although now I’m remembering Corey and I are going out for dinner for his birthday and Miles maintains Corey needs turkey jerky as a birthday gift…could be some big purchases in our immediate future.)

How did other folks do?

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Posted by on January 19th, 2012 1 Comment